Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Butterfly Patience

[Totally Optional Prompts asked for an animal poem, and since the Monday Poetry Stretch at the Miss Rumphius Effect asked for a sonnet (Italian form), this is what came out.]



Butterfly Patience

One gold and magic summer day
when we were young and full of "why?"
we sat in chairs, my bro and I
and rested from our childish play.
To sit in place, not move away,
was hard for younger bro to try.
Then from the air a butterfly
alighted on his arm to sway.
The monarch with its black/orange wing
had joined us in our short-lived rest.
We held our breath, then whispered, "oh,"
And wondered at this fragile thing.
Then careful not to touch it lest
it could not fly – we let it go.



18 comments:

aka Danny Wise said...

You've captured a moment in time - I like the way you say 'our short lived rest'

Jo said...

I like the last four lines, they work really well. I can feel your brother's energy.

paisley said...

this was playful,, yet full of childhood insight... i loved it....

Rob Kistner said...

Very endearing!

Pauline said...

oh! exactly!

sister AE said...

Thanks, aka Danny. Its a moment that wanted me to tell it.

Hi, Jo - those do scan well, don't they?

Thanks, Paisley and Rob. And thanks, Pauline. I'm glad you like it.

gautami tripathy said...

I love butterflies..

tumblewords said...

Nicely done! A friend once stood still for quite some time while a monarch danced on her foot.

Holly Mac said...

Such a great moment you captured! Wonderful use of rhyme.

sister AE said...

Hi, Gautami - I like 'em too and I wish there were more around. Too many pesticides these days.

Thanks, Tumblewords. At the time I was so jealous that the butterfly wanted nothing to do with me and I'm the one who could sit still!

Hello, Holly Mac. Thanks. With the sonnets I usually build up a load of rhyming words to choose from as "building blocks."

Linda said...

I love rhyme done right and you've nailed it with this one. Everything shows instead of tells and that's not always easy to do with rhyme.

Crafty Green Poet said...

I love the moment you've captured there.

sister AE said...

Thanks, Linda and Juliet.

Linda said...

Thank you for leaving that helpful hint on my comments! YES! It does help! I see what I did wrong. I put flip-the-bird when it should have been just flip-bird.
I feel better already!

...deb said...

"we held our breath..." captured the spell of wonder. Lovely poem & memory.

sister AE said...

Thanks, ...deb. I'm going to have to ask my brother if he remembers this event...

Dennis said...

(Applause!!!!)
This is just great!
I particularly am in love with, "when we were young and full of why?" (more applause).

sister AE said...

Thanks, Dennis. That's my favorite, too.