Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Last Lines Prompt

This week's Poetry Thursday prompt is to use the last line of a poem as the first line of a new poem. I selected the last line of Onion Tears that I wrote in July.

Fields Forever

When I eat them,
if they are ripe,
I feel the scratchy straw I sit on
here in the space between the rows
where it keeps down the weeds.
The hot sun beats down on
my straw hat and my bare legs.
Red stains my hands and my brother's mouth, and
the red gems smile from underneath dark green leaves.
With no wind to speak of
I hear the rustle of other pickers
down the rows, and closer
my mom's voice tells us,
"Make sure some make it into the baskets."
Six baskets sit in each flat,
and all of them will go home with us
to become strawberry shortcake, and
my daddy's strawberry jam.

If you care to see the other poems I've posted on this blog, just click on the "poetry" label below.


Shelley said...

I like this, and it brought up some nice memories for me.

Happy belated birthday, too!

Crafty Green Poet said...

very atmospheric...

gautami tripathy said...

I want some...:D

Hedwyg said...

Oh, YUM! You got all the senses in there - how delicious! Great poem this week.

sister AE said...

Thanks, Shelley - on both counts!

Julia and Gautami - thanks!

Hedwyg - thanks. I'm not sure I ever mentioned how much I like the posts at Horrible Haiku, but if I forgot, I'm telling you now.

Constance said...

This does a great job of setting the scene. A nice slice of life poem I can identify with. :)

Anonymous said...

I like the way a back-story is suggested, it helps set the stage but doesn't get in the way. Thanks.

Split Ends said...

I love the idea of our senses transporting us... experiential time travel, sort of. I hope that's what you were referring to with "When I eat them,/if they are ripe,/I feel the scratchy straw I sit on..."

Beautifully done.

sister AE said...

Thank you, Constance.

Mike - thanks. I originally had more lines, but they were, indeed, distracting.

Split Ends - Thanks, and you are correct. We all have memories tied to smell and to taste, and probably to certain colors or sounds or situations. This piece came from thinking of the difference between eating an "eh!" pinkish strawberry that has been sitting in trucks & refrigerators far too long, and eating a local berry that is warm and perfectly vine-ripe. The latter is fragrant and ties into memories.

Clare said...

I could totally smell the straw and the juicy ripe strawberries (and taste them too!), plus feel the sun's heat -- really beautiful.

sister AE said...

Hi, Clare. Thank you.