[Read Write Poem encouraged us to "turn our observations into similies" this week. Here is what I came up with.]
The Office
Dust bunnies roll like tumbleweeds
across the empty tile floor.
The bare walls bounce sound
like echoes in a box canyon.
Vultures pick over the boxed remains
stacked in the hallway,
while other wild things lurk green-eyed,
just out of range, waiting for a moment's inattention
for the chance to move in.
A tired posse with clipboards and brooms
valiantly tries to fend off scavengers
until the sheriff arrives to lay down the law
and hang a nameplate on the door.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
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17 comments:
I too couldn't get my similes right. I finally posted what I could.
However, yours works just fine.
stoicism
Now you did a great job here, it's very cool.
i love the vultures wanting the office!
Hi, Gautami, thanks.
Thanks, Jo.
Hi, Carolee. That happens a lot around here!
That first line is terrific, that's an image I'll remember...
Thanks, Juliet. That's the one that first came to me and spawned the whole rest of the piece.
Love the extended metaphor! It made me chuckle!
Hi, Linda. Thanks!
good work carrying it through to the nameplate!
Thank you, artpredator.
Ah, dustbunnies- just what I have battling with the last few days... in more ways than one!
Excellent!
:)
Sounds like every place I have ever worked! Well done.
Christina
Thanks, Regina. And I hope you got the upper hand!
Hi, Christina. Thanks!
the mood is set by the dust bunnies appearance; then, the vultures swoop down, and oh, isn't man self-centered and territorial, and grabbing at every opportunity to stake a claim? i like it!
Thanks, Jan!
you nailed that sucker...
thanks, Maria.
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