Thursday, July 02, 2009

Midsummer in Oz

Read Write Poem gave us a picture to spark our imagination this week. It reminded me of something and then I started playing around with that idea and this is what I'm still playing with. I don't think it is in its final form, but for now it amuses me and I'm happy to be playing with words that seem to be cooperating for a change!

The picture is here




Midsummer in Oz

Call me Jack Bottom,
ridgey didge grandson of my great-
grandfather, Nick.
Many times great- and so am I!

Family stories say he could do any-
thing better, weave faster,
roar louder, be more like a wall
than the wall itself.

I don't weave cloth, just
web pages full of advice for
politicians, businessmen,
footballers, and jackaroos.

They'd all do well to lis-
ten to me. Jack-of-all-trades,
that's me, though I see myself
more in a supervisory role.

Now last night I was vis-
iting out in woop woop, with the sky wide
open in all around me, and I stopped
in a pub before heading to dreamland.

Robbo, he said to call
him, and a good fellow he seemed,
listening to my suggestions
for hours on end.

I planned to sleep under
the stars and he cuffed me lightly
on the head as he left, and next thing
you know I heard people screaming.

"Bunyip!" they bellowed, and
they pointed at me and ran. I thought
I'd had too many tallies and headed
for my blankets.

I woke this morning with a hang-
over and a fuzzy head and I wonder
if those stories about Gramps
Bottom were true.

So I'll sit here a while, and spin
my next column, about the best way to keep
fleas away, and if Robbo comes by I'll see
if he will join me for a cold one at the bar.



19 comments:

angie said...

oh, just perfect!

I'd like to join them for a cold one, too!

sister AE said...

thanks, angie!

Donald Harbour said...

The interesting thing about poetry, and much over looked, is its ability to educate. One can get out of it a life instruction based on their own experiences as well. (Been there done that!)You have taken us on a journey of metaphor and British slang that is a pleasure to read as well as a glimpse into pub thinking. Well done!

Lawrence Gladeview said...

a lot of local flavor in this poem to enjoy. slang works great in poetry writing because it really connects narrator to reader, granting a familiarity level that the reader would otherwise be absent of. enjoyed
-lawrence

Nathan said...

There's a great use of dialect and narrative here!

gautami tripathy said...

It puts me right in there!

equus asinus asinus

sister AE said...

Hello, Donald and Lawrence. Thanks so much to each of you!

I tried to verify the Australian slang as much as I could from this corner of the US, hoping it would be just enough to give the right flavor.

Thanks, Nathan. I'm glad it works for you.

Hi, Gautami. Thanks for coming along for the ride.

Kristy Worden said...

yes, the language was a lot of fun, woop woop!

strattonm said...

You did a fine job of conveying meaning by showing, not telling. You wrote in such a way that what you were communicating was obvious even if the terms weren't.

That takes skill, and not a little bit of humility. Most people want to tell how much they know. You showed with gentleness.

I thoroughly enjoyed this.

sister AE said...

Thanks, Kristy.

Hi, strattonm. Thanks for the kind words. I'm glad you liked it.

Dana said...

The jack of all trades reference is a wonderful play on words. I also really like the notion of being more like a wall than the wall itself. There's a lot of great sound in this poem, too, slant and internal rhyme throughout that isn't too loud, just loud enough to support the tone of the poem.

Erin Davis said...

Bottom in Australia! Brilliant!

sister AE said...

Thanks, Dana. I re-read Nick Bottom's lines in Midsummer Night's Dream and found quite a chap, indeed. As each character in the play-within-a-play was announced, poor Nick was so eager to best any other at each one!

Hello, Erin. Thanks! It still makes me smile at my own audacity.

irene said...

Rollicking fun..like folklore

anthonynorth said...

Fun and a great flowing narrative.

sister AE said...

Hi, irene. Thanks.

Glad you like it anthony.

James said...

Very nice. I could really hear the speaker's voice in my head. I love the bit about sitting down to think up the next column.

sister AE said...

thanks, James.

irene said...

Hi sister AE

I've decided to pass on an award to you.

Here's my post about it

Blessings
Irene