Friday, February 15, 2008

Criminals

[The Monday Poetry Stretch over at The Miss Rumphius Effect was to write a metaphor poem. This is my entry for that, and my submission to this week's Totally Optional Prompts (emphasis on optional this week).]


Criminals

My allergies are thieves,
sneaking up silently
to steal time from my day.

Cigarette smoke is a cat burglar,
avoiding detection by
floating over on the warm breeze.
I don't notice the invasion until later.

Even the flowers are accomplices this week,
disguising their breath-stealing powers
with perfect Valentine shades of red and pink.





9 comments:

gautami tripathy said...

I like this. The metaphors are very good.

Today I wrote a poem about skin allergy.

However, my TOP post is:

remnants of violence staring out of nought

SweetTalkingGuy said...

Yeah, that's a good way to get a message across, people like me (ignorant) don't realise how others suffer. And I liked the poem too!

paisley said...

i have suffered from brief seasonal allergies at times,, but i am thrilled that i have none that have clung for longer than a season or two...

what a buzz kill to find out that even beauty makes you sick.......

sister AE said...

Hi, Gautami, and thanks. I'm on vacation this week, but will definitely catch up on your work when I get back home.

Hello, Andy. Thanks. It has been so long since I've been around much smoke, I didn't know it would knock me for such a loop!

Hi, Paisley. My seasonal allergies are usually limited to a few weeks in the spring. Fortunately I have my allergy medicine with me and now that I am paying attention, I'm feeling more like myself. I should be ready for flowers again by the time I get home!

Cloudscome said...

"Even the flowers are accomplices this week," Wow what a great line! You've written a strong metaphor here and I like it.

tumblewords said...

A genuine situation couched in superb phrases...really nice!

sister AE said...

Thanks, Cloudscome and Tumblewords.

anthonynorth said...

As my wife is a life-long, and extreme, sufferer of hay fever, I understand you very well.

sister AE said...

Hello, Anthony. Allergies can also be described with other words, but those are not so poetic!