[The Monday Poetry Stretch over at The Miss Rumphius Effect was to write a metaphor poem. This is my entry for that, and my submission to this week's Totally Optional Prompts (emphasis on optional this week).]
Criminals
My allergies are thieves,
sneaking up silently
to steal time from my day.
Cigarette smoke is a cat burglar,
avoiding detection by
floating over on the warm breeze.
I don't notice the invasion until later.
Even the flowers are accomplices this week,
disguising their breath-stealing powers
with perfect Valentine shades of red and pink.
Friday, February 15, 2008
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9 comments:
I like this. The metaphors are very good.
Today I wrote a poem about skin allergy.
However, my TOP post is:
remnants of violence staring out of nought
Yeah, that's a good way to get a message across, people like me (ignorant) don't realise how others suffer. And I liked the poem too!
i have suffered from brief seasonal allergies at times,, but i am thrilled that i have none that have clung for longer than a season or two...
what a buzz kill to find out that even beauty makes you sick.......
Hi, Gautami, and thanks. I'm on vacation this week, but will definitely catch up on your work when I get back home.
Hello, Andy. Thanks. It has been so long since I've been around much smoke, I didn't know it would knock me for such a loop!
Hi, Paisley. My seasonal allergies are usually limited to a few weeks in the spring. Fortunately I have my allergy medicine with me and now that I am paying attention, I'm feeling more like myself. I should be ready for flowers again by the time I get home!
"Even the flowers are accomplices this week," Wow what a great line! You've written a strong metaphor here and I like it.
A genuine situation couched in superb phrases...really nice!
Thanks, Cloudscome and Tumblewords.
As my wife is a life-long, and extreme, sufferer of hay fever, I understand you very well.
Hello, Anthony. Allergies can also be described with other words, but those are not so poetic!
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