[In response to this weeks Monday Poetry Stretch at The Miss Rumphius Effect I present my try at a roundel. Check there later this week to see what other folks came up with.]
Blue Roundel
When daybreak's sky is red
bad weather may ensue -
or so the sailors said -
unlike when morning light is blue,
that frosty, early hue,
when night has barely fled
and day is overdue.
Arising from my bed
I watch out for a cue
of the trace of pink I dread
unlike when morning light is blue.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
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9 comments:
Very visual - I like it. TOns. Thank you!
Thanks, DaisyBug. I am not a morning person, but when I do get up early and see "that" light, it is definitely inspiring.
You had me wanting to get up earlier, like I used to. Thank you.
I love that morning blue light! Especially if all the rest of the world (and my kids) are sleeping. Lovely capture here!
Thanks, Marcia & Cloudsome.
I've never written one of these but will have to try, now!
Yours is sooo good! What I especially admire is how you didn't transpose words and turn the sentences ass-end-to just to get that rhyming word at the end of the line. Very natural!
Did you see the pink sky this morning? It was neon on my way to school. And now it's snowing.
Thanks, Linda.
If I know I'm going to try a form with a rhyme, I often start by making lists of rhyming words, a separate list for each rhyme I think I need (one for A's, one for B's, etc). I try not to limit the lists, since I don't know just what phrases I'll use yet. Then when I start writing, it is easier for me to "cherry-pick" a rhyming words and the words themselves may suggest how to end the line.
Anyway, no I missed sunup this morning, I was busy oversleeping in spite of the multiple snooze alerts! And except for a brief amount of sleet on my head, we've had rain all day.
I'm unfamiliar with this form but it is beautifully written. The rhyme is smooth and the visuals are great!
Hi, Sue. Tricia at The Miss Rumphius Effect has more examples up. I also did a web search after I wrote this according to Tricia's instructions and found most posted have the repeated (4 and 11) lines shorter than the others, rather than slightly longer as I have done. But I liked this so much I decided to "never mind" about that.
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