[Writers Island prompted us this week to write about "Over the Horizon."]
Over the Horizon
The weather three states west would be ours
tomorrow, or the next day, depending on the wind.
Weather always made good time racing
across the space ironed flat by ancient glaciers.
From the back seat of the wood-paneled station wagon
the space between me and the horizon
was filled with rows of corn and soybeans
and a few trees here and there with something to prove.
The concrete interstate plowed a pale path
through green fields, due east ten miles to a gentle left-hand curve,
then straight as the crow flies to the middle of the next county,
never looking back.
Decades down the road,
I live past the curvature of the earth
from where I started.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
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15 comments:
that last stanza is very good. thanks
the space between me and the horizon
I like the way you've drawn the far-away in, and expanded the reach of the close.
You have so much space in your country. I've never been to the States and it's hard to appreciate the vastness. Here in little old England you are never far from the sea. I loved the last stanza too. I'm drawn to curves and circles.
Thanks, Gautami.
Hello, Robin. Thanks.
Hi, watermaid. Its true, there are a lot of different kinds of spaces within the US. I grew up in the great flatness in the middle, but now I live 15 miles from the ocean, although I rarely go look at it (which is a shame).
Oh this sounds so wonderful.. brought to mind so many road trips.. I have always wanted to live in the country... and this brought back the pangs!!
Over the Horizon
This is probably my favorite of your wonderful poetry. From the left coast, weather sweeps over my spot in about twenty-seven hours. I like the expansive feel of words here.
Stanza two really evoked some memories for me, and the final stanza....strong but I think you need just a little more....seems maybe unfinished, but could and most likely is just me.
MY first ever entry:
http://wannabeawritersomeday.blogspot.com/2008/01/over-horizon-writers-island-edition-1.html
Hello, Preethi. I was a "townie" but in a very small town in the middle of lots and lots of farmland.
Hi, tumblewords. I'm glad you like it.
Welcome, Penelope Anne. I think I have a bit of ambivalence as to how to end the piece and that may have come through. I'll likely leave it for a while and revisit it in a few months to see if a better end has revealed itself to me.
that is a beauty...here we are enveloped in a white mist of falling snow blowing in every direction...
Hello, LittleWing. We had snow in December, then bitter cold last week. Today we seem to be having spring here in New England.
Very beautiful poem!
thanks, Chris.
Thanks, Jen. It may be the same globe, but it certainly is a different world.
Very nicely done. If I may: really liked the first and fourth stanzas. Second stanza made me wonder what trees have to prove, if anything. 3d stanza cemented the feeling of space and expanse. And the fourth, what would you think about transposing the 1st and 2nd lines?
Sounds like the great Mid-West to me.
Thanks.
As blogger won't let me i.d. myself in my current incartantion, here I am:
Richard
Hi, Richard. Thanks for the ideas. I think the "proving" is currently without a match later on explaining - something.
I'm intrigued by the idea of swapping those lines in the 4th stanza. I'll definitely try that out when I pull this out to work on it again.
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