[Inspired by Bone and his 3 Word Wednesday prompt - this week the words were phone, stumbled, windy]
The Transplant
I slipped
and landed on the ground.
I was unprepared
for this show of nature.
Exhausted,
I bent over,
pulled my collar up,
and stumbled again toward
the building's shelter.
When they told me
it would be windy
I pulled out a jacket.
How could I know
that my idea of windy
was a tiny kitten compared
to this saber-toothed storm?
The day was mild
when I set out for my walk,
only a few dark clouds
in the distance
and a teasing breeze
warm against my cheek.
I marveled at how
alone in the world
I seemed to be,
unfamiliar with the land
but knowing that the empty fields here
would not allow me to get lost!
I found a rock
just off the road
where I ate a crisp apple
and disappeared into my book.
The air came faster,
but I only noticed
the dimmed sunlight
when it was too dark to read.
The sky was an angry green,
and gusts pushed
the trees over sideways.
I turned back at once,
wishing for
a taxi to hail.
I didn't even have
a phone with me
because the cell tower
had collapsed
the week before I got here.
I should have asked
about that.
The half-mile out
seemed many times that
as I pushed myself against
the roaring force.
I was a tiny ant
retracing my path
along the dusty road,
each bit of sand
biting my face
to tell me of my
lack of sense.
Lost in time I moved
one footstep at a time.
An eternity later
I saw the dim outline
of the building.
My attention already inside,
I found a hole
lost my footing,
and hurt every body part
I landed on.
My misery turned a corner
and gained anger.
I stubbornly stood
and pushed my slow ox-self
against the yoke of the wind,
aiming for my warm stall.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
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18 comments:
Ouch! Well written description of a surprise storm...
Thanks, tumblewords. It's not my usual style, but I had fun with it.
wow.. that was excellent... i felt the winds of change pushing against me,, i loved it....
Hi Sister AE! I love this poem and all the wonderful images in it -- and the intensification of feeling as the storm builds and the race is on to get back. The last line gave me a big smile! But yes, ouch, for falling!
:)
Hi, Paisley and Hi, Clare.
I had a vivid imagination this afternoon!
What a lovely story-poem. You certainly surprised me with the ending!
Mad Kane
Really loved your images. Two metaphors in particular grabbed me:
How could I know
that my idea of windy
was a tiny kitten compared
to this saber-toothed storm?
And
I stubbornly stood
and pushed my slow ox-self
against the yoke of the wind,
aiming for my warm stall.
"The Transplant", I loved the subject for such a beautiful poetic tale...nice take on the prompt. Thanks for sharing.
Hello, Mad Kane, I tried on some various ideas for an ending - reaching the building, reaching the building and it having blown down, but then I decided I liked the change of resolve and that was a good enough ending.
Hi, Gay. Thanks so much! I've been trying to use metaphors more - I love it when I find them elsewhere, but they don't come naturally to me. I have to think about them. I would have made this more metaphor-rich, had I not been trying to post this yesterday.
Thanks, UL. I figured I needed a reason for the person to be unfamiliar with the surroundings. Glad you like it.
I like the narrative style of it. I love your longer pieces just as much as your short poems.
Thanks, Gautami. Unless I'm setting out to write haiku or sonnet or other structured form, I never know how long something is going to be. But since I get bored part-way through some longer pieces, I try to make sure that the only parts I leave in are important ones.
How could I know
that my idea of windy
was a tiny kitten compared
to this saber-toothed storm?
I got a great visual out of this stanza specifically, though I could honestly envision most of it. Nicely done.
Thanks, TC.
I was a tiny ant
retracing my path
along the dusty road
I especially liked that. It was like I was watching you from far above. Very imaginative writing!
Great description and I love the detail of the sand stinging when it hits the face.
Hi, Bone, thanks! Your words took me someplace out of the ordinary.
Hello, Truefaith. Thanks. I tried to put in elements that made it seem real. I'm glad that one worked.
Beautifully written. You made me glad there aren't any storms around right now. Keep up the good work.
Your metaphors were great by the way.
Michelle
Ha! Thanks, Michelle.
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